Lionel Richie just seems synonymous with seduction, doesn’t he? I’m reminded of the scene in “Election” in which Mr. Novotny sneaks young Tracy Flick into his house, gets her a can of root beer and what does he put on? You’re once… twice…  “Three Times a Lady.” 

So, it’s only natural that someone who’s been so integral in engineering intimate encounters would branch out into a different medium, but one ripe for his particular set of skills: fragrance. After all, we are animals, and as such, we are attracted by scent. 

There’s an unusual disorder called synesthesia, in which stimuli may be perceived by a sense that has no business being involved. For example, some people see colors in letters or numbers, e.g., “A” is often perceived as being red. 

Where am I going with this? Imagine if music had a certain smell. Now imagine what “Stuck on You” smells like… notes of Tennessee Bourbon, cut grass, petrichor? How about “Lady?” Lavender, rose petals and a hint of some exotic spice? And “Easy Like Sunday Morning?” Come on, that one’s simple… pancake batter and weed. 

Well, you needn’t consume psychedelics to find out anymore, thanks to a new fragrance from Richie, HELLO, which definitively answers the question, “Is it me you’re looking for?” with a resounding, “Why, yes, I was looking for you.” 

Richie chose a fitting setting, the garden patio of West Hollywood’s Ysabel, to announce his new endeavor. Some of the most elegant, fashionable people — but, of course, I don’t need to tell you — were on hand… good champagne…  canapes… designer drugs… mid-afternoon orgy… yada, yada, yada. Okay, you got me, it was more like late afternoon… and more like a photo-op. 

There’s a women’s eau de parfum and men’s eau de toilette, each with three distinct aromatic layers. The eau de parfum is described as a fruity chypre with floral nuances. The top notes consist of pear, lemon, grapefruit and pink peppercorn flowers. It’s followed by floral notes of jasmine and tuberose, and has a base of sweet and spicy elements like honey, tonka flower, ambrox, and patchouli. 

This is more than a perfume, it’s an aura. And Lionel Richie is more than a pop star, he’s a fragrancier. He’s also a global icon and living legend, and he said he really liked my carnation-colored jacket, and I know I shouldn’t be as giddy about that as I am, but I am. 

So, there you have it. We talked about statutory rape in a movie, a rare brain disorder, the smell of certain pop songs, and my pink sportcoat. And that Lionel Richie now has a fragrance for men and women. As always, you’re a more informed, enlighted — one might even say “better” — person for having read another one of my dispatches from the front lines of luxurious L.A.