More ultrasounds, more shots. The last week my dose of meds was upped to 3 shots a day. I can’t tell you how much I rejoiced and danced around the house when they were over. I completely feel for anyone who has to give themselves daily shots to survive. My evenings were fun having my mom to take to so many events, but at the same time dreaded.
This past Monday evening I had the last 2 trigger shots, 2 days before the procedure, which had to take place at 7:45 PM. Los Angeles, for once, decided to rain and the event I was planning to cover towards Manhatten Beach was cancelled due to possible lightning. It was a relief that I could just stay in and not feel guilty for not wanting to attend a charity gala with shots in my purse.
It felt good to be home these last 8 days with my mom IN THE HOUSE! I wavered daily of the financial burden this procedure was costing my father as well as if I was doing the right thing, although I was feeling great emotionally and physically. My meds alone cost almost $5,000. My mom said it would’ve been easier to get knocked up. Thanks, Mom!
My girlfriends (many who are moms) reassured me I was doing the right thing and I would never regret this choice. I also managed to get rid of any negative people in my life during this process, which felt liberating and good, to know that choosing your friends wisely is the best thing you can do for your own mental sanity.
I received emails and texts from so many supportive people, even from guys, and from people I didn’t even know who read my tales online. They too shared their stories. One guy messaged me: Just read your personal journey blogs on freezing your eggs. Wow. Wishing you the best. Very brave of you. And exciting. Add me to your village of supporters.
I even heard from close friends who divulged how they got pregnant in their marriages, which included personal details of frozen eggs, shots, or IVF. Every day I was learning something new, like the shocking tale from one east coast girl who told me after her egg retrieval she had hyper stimulation, a condition that put her on bed rest for 8 weeks. She said basically your ovaries freak out after harvesting and absorb every drop of water in your body. She gained 44 lbs of water weight in 3 days and had to go to the ER 3 times to get “drained.” My doctor reassured me that there was almost 0% chance this could happen to me due to new technology.
After my last post on my egg freezing journey, I learned that I had 5 eggs growing, the actual goal for someone my age. Three were a good size and two were smaller, and I even had smaller ones. But, I am a realist and I know that they say a woman with 10 eggs, often only has 2 good ones, so I figure if I have 5, than that means I may only have one Super Egg if I am lucky. My dad says I may never need them. In his opportunistic manner, he claims I will probably get pregnant the normal way (if I do ever meet a partner), but realizes it is good that these will be a back up since “you are not a spring chicken anymore.” Thanks Dad.
My procedure kept getting pushed back because my incredible doctor, Dr. Winkler from the Pacific Fertility Center, wanted to make sure the eggs were fully grown before being “harvested.” Each time I had an ultrasound, I could see the black circular holes on the monitor as she called the dimension of each little egg. All I could think of is that one day one of these little black holes could be a miracle baby.
Monday morning 6:45 AM I was ready for this to be over, but happy I decided to make this choice for my future, in case some day I may need these eggs. The anesthesiologist had called me the night before, which I didn’t even realize til the morning and he lulled me to dead sleep soon after I was wheeled in to Dr. Winkler with my legs hooked in the hanging stirrups. Just a few hours later my mother drove me home, without crashing my car the few miles from Westwood to West Hollywood, and I was sound asleep soon after.
I felt great when I woke up for a few hours, but then extremely lousy as the day wore on, feeling super tired and achey. It probably didn’t help that my mom and I hadn’t slept in days since we had so much catching up to do. The day after the procedure was my mom’s last day in California so I wanted to take her to Laguna Beach before she left for CT. We enjoyed Mexican lunch in town, climbed down the 1000 Steps Beach, met with her childhood friends on a rooftop restaurant and ended our bonding at the Pageant in the Masters, where art comes alive. It was painful at times to walk, even to the beach. It felt better to sit or lie on my back, but this didn’t stop me from having an amazing last day in Laguna with my mom. My stomach was swollen, and although I have been dying to workout, it will have to wait.
The best news was the email I received from Dr. Winkler letting me know that I had 6 eggs (more than expected) and they were all mature, so all 6 Curtin/Landino eggs were frozen. Hopefully one day those minuscule zygotes will be ready to spring forth life!
Have you thought about freezing your own eggs? Is motherhood something you have dreamed about, but now is not the right time? The organization that helped me though the process called Great Possibilities is holding a free, fun, informative event in LA, August 4th from 7-9 p.m. at the Beverly Hills Fours Seasons Hotel. To register, click HERE.